Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Posted by Júl 05 2009

The title of my all time fav Pedro Almodovar movie tells you exactly what’s going on with us. The „woman” part is just a little something for the people who always seem to know it all. As a Hungarian paper already spread the news: we are homeless in Tel Aviv. But before you start to see us as two dirty bag ladies, drinking cheep vodka and munching apple peals, I let you guys know what’s really happening.

Somewhere over the rainbow we have a home...

Somewhere over the rainbow we have a home…

About a week ago when we started to look for flats in the big city, we didn’t really know what to expect. Eszter Lányi, the cultural attaché of the Hungarian Embassy wrote me an e-mail a while ago, and she said, this city is exactly like a small New York. And as we all know from Carrie Bradshaw, finding a home in Manhattan is not as easy as finding the perfect shoes. Hundreds of websites and several phone calls later we were still on the way from Haifa to tel Aviv – every single morning. On the train I was usually trying to work, but it’s not so easy to translate a book or to write an article while you are holding two dogs in your arms and a noisy family is having a cheerful breakfast just in front of you. When we were in Tel Aviv already, we felt like the Jewish people coming from Egypt, except we didn’t have a leader who can make us go trough the sea. In fact we were swimming in the sea if we can call our own sweat an ocean. I know, I know, if I could be less needy, it would be easy. But I want it all: a flat in the middle of the city, close to the beach, minimum two rooms, air conditioning, balcony, doesn’t need a lot of money to spend on, and it’s maximum 3500 shekels per month. And what did we see? Places with a toilet on the rooftop, kitchens with a missing wall, air conditioning from the age of the Paleolithic, and my favorite was where we didn’t even get in, because the owner hates dogs. We looked around in Florentine as well, the Brooklyn of Tel Aviv but we didn’t find anything except a mad person yelling at us “get the fuck out of here”, and frankly he was right. Özge, my naked little angel has great fun tho. People keep calling him the most beauty full dog in the world, and thats a big change for the Hungarian attitude: „Ewww, what is this ugly monster?” Anyway… the best thing what happened to us so far, is that I’ve been called the „male Madonna” by a landlady, who I shared a lot of common interest with, and I am NOT talking about afternoon champagnes. Well, not only about that to be more precise. Oh, and the cherry on the top: my Mac Book just decided to stop working in the middle of the magazine deadline-period. It has a blank, gray screen and singing songs for it or petting it doesn’t help, I tried. Sad Mac indeed. Right now I’m working on my articles on Ofer aba’s (my dad in law) mini computer. The screen is small as my palm so I feel like I’m in some creepy My Scene meets Munchkins movie, but hey… no person promised that changing a home is easy. I hope next time I’ll post some happy news about pick nicks on the beach, being fit and doing yoga in the sunset or just simply not falling asleep on the train while I’m writiiiiii… snore-snore-snore.

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