Archive for június, 2009


“Here you must live and die…”?

Posted by jún 30 2009

I didn’t plan that my next blog entry from the sunny Tel Avivian house-hunting will be about something very Hungarian, but since a radical political site was cheering for my moving and also posted some sophisticated curses about me, I decided to publish an open letter what I wrote a few weeks ago, just after the elections in Hungary. I got an answer: they told me to wait while they forward it to someone who is dealing with my stuff but since that I didn’t get a word. Now as a site picked up my name again I decided to share my thoughts with everyone. Here is a shortened version of my letter.

Dear Jobbik,

I never really understood why people of yours talk and write about me with such a rage, and with such mean words. First of all I must make it sure that you understand: I didn’t write in the name of a group, team or population – this is all and only me.

I found your website because of a total coincidence. I was walking my dog and I realized that I’m reading a flyer of yours, which said: “Reasons for voting for the Right Wing”. Shame on me or not, I never voted before on any election. Not because I’m lazy, not because I’m too proud, and not because some ideology. I did not vote because I feel like I wasn’t competent. I don’t fall for stereotypes. I would never decide if I like or dislike a song by the opinion of an other person and I wouldn’t call a food my favorite dish if I never tasted it before. The reason why I write this letter is to let people know that a homosexual person – in this case it’s me – is not equal with a stamp what society puts on him. On your flyer you wrote that your party has to face with a lot of untrue judgment, saying that you are racists, Nazis, and you don’t wish to relate to any of these. You outsiders, agitators, enemies are trying to destroy your reputation with all this. Well, now you know how I feel. When a sentence of mine becomes a two-page article, when a simple joke of mine leads to a huge scandal, or if something what I say about family and the joy of having a child makes some of you upset.

There are many things, which we agree about. I also don’t believe that forcing people to accept homosexuality is a way for equality. I never appeared on the Budapest Gay Pride before and not because I’m anti or pro, but because I had no interest in the event. A few weeks ago I had an interview where the reporter asked me what do I think about the Euro “Gay Olympics” Games. I said what Morgan Freeman said about the Black Historical Month. Since there is no such thing s White Historical Months there is no need for a black one. The Olympics are opened for everyone: gays, heterosexuals, blacks and whites if they are goon enough to get there. So many gay people got mad at me because of this – I guess many of them misunderstood what I said – but I do believe some of them got the message.
I saw a video of Krisztina Morvai as the spokeswoman of your party in a memorial day for Palestinians. As she does, I also wear the keffiyeh, tho I have a Jewish boyfriend who is a medical student in Budapest, Hungary. He reminds me every day not to fall for the silly stereotypes and labels. Just an example: on my last trip to Tel Aviv an airport security guard spit on the floor after saying out loud the name of Palestine. I was deeply hurt and my Jewish family, Matan’s parents and friends all shared my anger against the unfair security member. Good souls, hard working people are doing their jobs with the same pep for Arabs, Indians, Africans in Israel as they do it for their own people. I do love the colors of my blood: the Polish, the Gipsy, the German, the Jewish and the Hungarian and I will never be ashamed for any of them. And I’ll never forget what the Little Prince’s Fox said: you are responsible for who you have tamed. You have the ability to make people move. A lot of people. I think you should use it for good and only good. And every time when your leaders are yelling “stinky Jew” or “fucking fag”, you should remind them that they misunderstood your programs, your goals. I do believe that you are not the party of hate and you never say yes for violence and terror. Don’t you think the people who vote for you should believe the same?
Thank you for reading my letter and I wish you all the best as I wish piece, happiness and bright future for our beloved Hungary.

Kristóf Steiner

Well, here we are!

Posted by jún 28 2009

It’s been two years since I know it will happen sometime, but now it’s right there in front of my face. I’m looking out the window from an airplane to Tel Aviv. On my lap a little angel is sleeping peacefully: Özge, the world famous Chinese crested doggy. From now on, he’ll be just a dog from all the others – in a way. And I’ll be Kristóf Steiner. Not more, not less. Not „the ex vj of the music television”, not „the openly gay celebrity”, not the „exhibitionist show-of”, not the „wannabe writer” and not the „screenwriter of a soon to be Rassie Award winning movie”. And tho I never denied how much I love the limelight, as Evita said in the end of the show: „I’ve decided I should decline
all the honors and titles you’ve pressed me to take…”. No marks, labels, only me in a place where the sun is melting together with the sea.

Vintage-Me... and the answer is a big fat NO!

Vintage-Me… and the answer is a big fat NO!

When I decided to move to Israel on the side of my loved one, I knew that I’ll have to give back some other labels too – not just the sticky ones which I never asked for. I won’t be the boy by his father who gives his heart and friendship trough good and bad, tough and easy. I won’t be there as a fighter for my beloved Hungary and the city I adore – Budapest. A fighter for real freedom in the army of the children of revolution. I won’t be there with my friends when one of them’s tears are making the pillow wet or to laugh with them in the garden of our loved Menza restaurant of Franz Liszt square. And… I won’t be by my Mama’s grave in the court of the Church of Csillaghegy for a while.

I have a confession to make. Matan Attias is not the one and only love of mine. I’m in love with LIFE with all it’s colours. Who cares if it’s pink, yellow, shining gold, or gray, black and scary. The important thing is to carry this giant painting on my back, sometimes with smile on my face, sometimes with tears in my eyes. And I’ll never be afraid to jump into the middle of it – just like Mary Poppins did it to the crayon drawing. This blog is about colours. For those who doesn’t believe every word from the cover stories: „Kristóf wants to have sex in front of the professor”, „Steiner is happy for Jacko’s death”, Kristóf Steiner is fucking children, he is responsible for his mother’s death and all those things what they wrote and they will write and say about me. Colours have shades. And unlike flashy, egocentric tabloid stories, life is mostly happening in the light of these mild, fairy-dust soft shades.