Stranger-friends in Monte Carlo… ready play the game?

 “When is your book coming out in English?” is probably the question I heard the most amount of times in the past three years since I left Hungary. And as much as I’d love to put effort in translating my short stories I have to admit: my mind is like it’s pulled by a bunch of wild horses. In my head I’m always involved with a next project, and I just can’t revisit a book I’m already “done with” in my head. But maybe now… This summer I’m bringing out a new book and in my opinion this is the One I should get done in English as well.

Can you imagine a guy going on a crazy adventure with a complete stranger? Well, now you can: that guy is me. I met my travel buddy, Mary trough Craigslist, where she advertised a rather peculiar opportunity. She needed company for a luxury cruise all over Europe. As we went trough a serious rough patch with my boyfriend back then I decided: it’s time for me to think outside the box… and inside a cabin of the Norwegian Jade. Mary and I spent together eight unforgettable days, and as I got to know more and more about her I found out: my heart wasn’t even broken, next to hers. Our adventures brought us to a fancy wedding on the street in Palma de Mallorca, Naples’s most famous pizza place, known from the bestseller Eat Pray Love, and to the shrine of the Casinos, Monte Carlo, where Mary won a small (well, a really small) fortune on the poker machine.

As I was dancing my nights away on the fancy dress parties with the retired couples and posh American tourists I quickly realized… I’m not so miserable after all, and by the time our ship returned to Barcelona my diary was filled with the most amazing memories a writer can dream of. And now I know how grateful I am for that “almost-break-up” what brought me to experience the ultimate journey of a heart in love. A 4 page story of our trip has been published in the Hungarian Marie Claire magazine, and this summer the best of the rest is hitting the bookstores. This will be my message in a bottle. I believe it can be a secret map to find the island of happiness for all of us.

Madonna art work by Kobi

A few days ago Madonna’s Israeli team announced it on a major press conference: the material mum is starting her world tour in Tel Aviv. While most tickets have been sold in pre-sales, not getting a ticket is not the only fear Israeli Madonna fans are now facing. Since so many artists (like the Klaxons, Pixies and Gorillaz) have cancelled their Israeli shows in the past because of government tensions, the fans are now concerned: will Madonna follow their lead? Will the show be called off in case of a possible war with Iran? Kobi Zvili asked himself this question before he created a Facebook group, where he asked Israel’s prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu to please not attack Iran, or if he must, at least not before the long waited Madonna concert. I met up with the super creative pop-peace activist on a sunny day in Tel Aviv to give you this exclusive interview.

First of all you are a genius. My only problem is that it’s not easy to find your site?

I know, when I created the group I really did it as a joke. I had no idea it will blow up the Internet. This is why I made the title in Hebrew, and it turns out after two hundred “likes” you can’t change the name of the group.

How did your idea became a global phenomenon?

I was just watching it happening, on the first two days it was only some friends and me, and when a friend of a friend mentioned it in a local newspaper, all the big papers and magazines started to run the story.

Did you get any reaction from anyone special? Maybe from Madonna or Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu? 

Nothing from the prime minister or the government. A few reporters approached me after it was published in New York Post and Los Angeles Times. It was even mentioned in the morning news. Madonna or her team didn’t get back to me, but I’m sure she had to hear about it. Some of my friends are pretty sure sooner or later she will give us a sign.

The international feedback was great, but naturally there always have to be some haters. What do you think about the people who think that it’s insensitive that you are not declaring that you are against the war generally, but only if it’s before the Madonna gig?

Some people took it in the wrong way, of course I am against any kind of war at any time. This is just a funny way of dealing with the sometimes not-so-funny life in the Middle East.

So did you buy your ticket already?

Of course, no question about it. I have my Golden Circle ticket. I’ve been a huge Madonna fan since Ray of Light. And as Madonna will stay in Tel Aviv for two weeks, rehearsing her show I hope she might surprise us with some unexpected appearances in some clubs as Kylie does when she is the New York City. For me Madonna is the queen, Kylie is the princess.

How about GaGa?

Honestly I think she should go on a long holiday to give us the chance to see if we’d miss her if she’d be gone. I loved the Fame Monster album and I still think Bad Romance is one of the greatest songs of pop history, but now she is just way too much.

You can join Kobi’s anti war, pro-Madonna group here. This entry was published in The Wild magazine blog.

Okay, you can’t keep the clothes, but you can keep the faith: yes, „we are living in a material world”, but the guys at the Fondation Pierre Bergé-Yves Saint Laurent were kind enough to let us all enter the magical world of the Master, who’s pieces of perfection enchanted the fashion lovers for over four decades. Even the famous fans, actress Mena Suvari and pop princess Kylie Minogue would be amazed by seeing such a high concentration of “chic” in such a small p(a)lace.

The Salas Recoletos museum of Foundation Mapfre gives home for the breathtaking exhibition of the immortal fashion dictator, where all the dolls are dressed for success, and all the guys are, well, of course, gay. Just a few corners away from Madrid’s (in)famous gay village, Chueca, 150 original creations of beauty, luxury and art, over 80 hand drawn sketches, classic photos, and vintage fashion videos are showing us the deep impact of Monsieur Saint Laurent on the Universe of couture, organised in eleven thematically set up sections, from Haute Couture to Prêt-a-Porter.

The exhibit, previously presented only in Paris’s Petit Palace, and welcomes all empty wallets and glitter-filled imagination.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.”

Kabbalah does not offer an opinion on the issue, quite simply because Kabbalah is not a religion or a philosophy with opinions about sexual orientation. Kabbalah is a blueprint, a technology based on the energy of life. It allows us to have more Light in our lives, to strengthen our connection to that 99 Percent Reality of spirituality from which we all derive.

Kabbalah explains that the ultimate purpose of life is to transform our selfish desires and learn to share with people. As we discussed earlier, relationships are the major part of this process. Everyone, gay or not, faces the tough task of learning to resist the overwhelmingly selfish behaviors the Adversary proposes. When any two people commit to taking that journey together, to being sharing and conscious of the effect their actions have on the world, they reveal great Light in the world.

When speaking with my gay students, I find that they easily connect to the idea of male and female energies. Remember, these are the positive and negative charges that exist in the unified soul. In fact, Kabbalah explains that male and female energies, or male and female souls, can be drawn into a body of the opposite sex. People can even have a combination of both these energies, which can affect their sexuality.

Ultimately, the soul of a person chooses the body it will inhabit before entering the physical world. And we are all here for the same reason: To learn to be more sharing, to become more like the Light, and to ignite the Law of Attraction in our lives. So whatever combination of soul and body we may have, we are all exactly who we need to be in order to accomplish this mission. Kabbalah explains that wherever the fantastic voyage may take us, we are all sparks of the Divine, of the Creator, and the Creator does not make mistakes.

Treating all people with human dignity is an essential tool of Kabbalah. Not because it is morally correct, but because judgment and hatred are tools of our Adversary and they immediately disconnect us from the Light. Treating everyone with kindness, compassion, and sharing connects us to the Light that will infuse our own lives with passion and excitement.

“There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – William Shakespeare, Hamlet

It is important that we understand the concept of male and female as they are defined kabbalistically. Male and female do not necessarily refer to a physical male and female body. Kabbalah deals with forces of energy that have nothing to do with materiality. There is male energy and female energy, and these two particular forces can be found in either a man’s or a woman’s physical body, in varying proportions. In gay relationships, it’s not unusual to find that one partner expresses more female qualities and the other more male ones. This is a direct result of the particular male or female energy that shines in each person’s soul.

Rachel is gay, and she has been a student of Kabbalah for three years. Before Kabbalah, Rachel was constantly filled with a fear of rejection. She had no idea what her purpose in life was, or how her sexuality fit into the scheme of things.

“Studying Kabbalah helped me realize that it isn’t about whether you’re gay or straight; it’s about understanding that every single person has something to contribute to life. We’re all responsible for the amount of negativity or Light in the world. When you learn to resist the ego, it’s like finding a new treasure every day. Instead of being bogged down by guilt and shame, boredom and emptiness, you’re inspired to write the book you always dreamed of, volunteer to help abused kids like you’ve always meant to, or even just let go of grudges and pain you’ve carried around for years. It’s not about what you want; it’s about who you are.

A lot of times people focus on the sex part of homosexuality, which is understandable when you learn how much we all focus on the 1 percent of reality. But being gay is about a lot more than just sex. No one has a monopoly on being selfish in sex and relationships. We all do it. I realized that life is about making the effort to see that spark of the Creator in someone else and to really appreciate it. Especially in the people I disagree with the most, those who really push my buttons.”

As a final thought on this subject, suppose we have a heterosexual couple that treats each other abusively. They mistreat their friends and business colleagues, and their behavior lacks any form of human decency.

Suppose we have a gay couple that shares a life distinguished by a constant striving to be kind toward others. They make an effort to treat people with human dignity. Which couple, according to the teachings of Kabbalah, reveals greater Light in the world?

Answer? (No surprise here.) The gay couple.

Allow me to paraphrase a teaching of the great kabbalistic sage known as Hillel:

The sole purpose of Bible study is to achieve the ability to love one’s neighbor as oneself. All the rest of the learning is mere commentary. Now go and learn.

Because they worth it!

Staying Alive is an MTV international initiative to encourage HIV prevention, promote safer lifestyle choices and fight the stigma and discrimination which fuels the HIV epidemic. Staying Alive is now the world’s largest HIV mass media awareness and prevention campaign. It features the world’s biggest stars from Beyonce to Justin Timberlake, Mary J Blige, Diddy, Kanye West, Kelly Rowland, to Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton. I was honoured and happy when the MTV Hungary asked me to be the ambassador of the campaign, and on the side of many other Hungarian artist, promote health and safe sex in the form of concerts, documentaries, public service announcements, TV film, film competitions and many others.

Staying Alive began in 1998 as a one off award winning documentary, of the same name, about six young people from around the world and how their lives were affected by HIV and AIDS and hosted by George Michael. Now, a bit more than decade later we’ve been hosting an amazing, all day event in the heart of Budapest, with free and anonimus HIV testing, exhibition, a press conference, and an all night long party with top bands and singers. Just one sentence from my speech in front of the crowd: let’s not call the people “sick”, or “ill”, who suffering from HIV. Let’s call them “healing people”.

There are so many people out there who are terrified of not being able to celebrate Christmas with us next year. You… we are capable of giving them a gift. The same way,as Dorothy needed all her friends to be able to get back to Kansas, the same way as Santa needs Christmas spirit to fly on his sleigh, they need us to believe. The cure is here with us! With the power of collective consciousness we are capable of changing our reality into a world where we all take care of each other. The Bible says, love your neighbour as you love yourself… well I say, sometimes it’s okay to love them even a bit more.

My confessions on Leo…

Leo is a student whose wide eyes and curly hair project sensitive boyishness. He is vaguely aware that there’s something wrong with his relationship with beautiful Andrea. What’s worse, Leo’s mom is pressuring them to get married. Uncomfortable with Andrea’s requests for sex, Leo pretends he has to study. He goes to hide in the apartment he shares with a pothead who spends his days watching “Star Wars.” Away from everyone’s prying eyes, Leo searches online for friends. Timid and awkward at first, he invites one or two men to his room, only to have them leave when he says he just wants to talk. Then Leo stumbles into old girlfriend Caro, who has become listless and chronically depressed. As they grow closer, he finds that she, too, has a repressed secret. Leo’s visits to an understanding therapist, plus his new love for a candid man named Seba, help him begin to answer his questions about himself.

As the festival’s official site describes, the film explores the moments of unexpected connection that can lead to confession and acceptance. Love, loss, grief, guilt, desires, and fear are all more easily managed if we have the courage to face them.

You can catch the movie in Budapest…

…on the 21-22nd of May, in Művész cinema, at 20:30
23-24th of May, Puskin cinema, at 20:30
25-26th of May, Művész cinema, at 17:00
28th of May, Toldi cinema – ask for the details about the all day workshops and talkshows.

Perfection with a twist…

“Life is a work of art you gotta paint it colorful,
Can make it anything u want don’t have to stick to any rules
You don’t need a high IQ to succeed in what you do,
You just gotta have no doubt just believe in yourself.

Doubters, non-believers.. once were dreamers.
One of these days you’ll open up your eyes… and you’ll realize:

That girl was a one time teenage drama queen
A hot, tough everyday wannabe…
but she’ll have changed her destiny.. now she’s a somebody.
That girl was a wild child dreamer but she found herself.
Cuz she believes in nothin else and you’ll look back and you wont believe that girl was me.”

I might be in an all-girlie-pinky mood, but this is ssso kabbalistic for me! It’s all about certainty. Whatever you guys might say, LiLo rocks!

“Last christmas… ” …I was in Budapest.

I know, I know… Hungary is freaking cold trough the wintertime. That’s why we, Huns love to warm up with a little booz – such as mulled wine from the Vörösmarty square. Enjoy December’s cheerful and fun event, the traditional Christmas Market near Váci utca, the heart of the city. Try kürtőskalács, aka chimney cake, a classic Hungarian favourite, and spy on the local fashionistas. Budapest is a real fashion hotspot, the most important shopping area in Budapest is Váci street and the side streets, Kígyó street, Petőfi Sándor street, and the historical avenue, Andrássy út. With it’s fancy Armani, Bubery and Gucci stores you surely will love it’s posh charm. Allee Shopping Centre is the „it girl” in town, in Buda. It has all the important shops and apperantly Hungary’s largest book shop, Libri. If you come here, you can avoid the most typical and most stupid gifts in Hungary, the white peasant blouse, tablecloth with tulips or a doll with Hungarian costume… kinda boring, right?

Well, nor for me. To be honest, I miss my home, I miss my friends and I miss everything… even the bad things, what used to make me really angry or upset about my country. I miss the trashy underground, Metro, I miss the short days and rainy nights and I truly miss some stupid fights and misunderstandings with my loved ones. I miss some Euro-culture. Close to the museum you can visit Gödör, a famous club, coffe place and exhibition centre. The program between Christmas and New Year includes thematic nights: Christmas – Chanukah, Jazz extra, Balkan Beats, and New Year’s Eve. It gives the essence of Hungary’s music, showing a wide range of world music, pop-rock, jazz and electric music performed by famous Hungarian performers. If you prefer words over music, meat Hungary’s English speeking theatre groups. „The audience should think about the way we live and what we are. Otherwise why do it? I’m interested in the possibility of redemption, however tiny that possibility is, and I know that forgiveness is very difficult.”
says Simon Stephens who’s story, Pornography is kind of a self-reflection for all of us.

After a deep impact of drama the best way to relax is going out. Alterego’s, Glam’s and Underground’s events are  listed in the petite calendar of the free Na Végre! and Company magazines – you can find them at the gay-friendly clubs and restaurants. And even if there is no special theme night, you can spin around the pole or grab glass of Hungarian wine – u decide if you wanna be a slut or a sophisticated gentleman. Whatever you choose, play safe, and come back soon. Maybe I’ll be back by then.

Marry Xmas and Happy New Year, Santa baby.

Cover photo by the legendary Greg Gorman

My book tells how a Buddhist family raised up confused child who went trough heaven and hell. Partying with Paris Hilton, interviewing all kind of celebrities and throwing up my dinner in the restaurant’s bathroom… I just didn’t see the point anymore. I got addicted to painkillers and antidepressants and I developed a serious eating disorder. Buy the time when I realized how fucked up I am, it was kind of too late to get out from the roller coaster. The turning point was when my beloved Mom died. I went to India to spread her ashes in the River Ganges and I asked myself: what the hell am I doing? A lot happened since then. Now I live in Tel Aviv with my most amazing boyfriend, a soon to be doctor and I am healing my soul. Finally I lift myself up to the back of my horse, and I can see the place where I belong. I can see the light in the end of the tunnel. I am not there yet… but I know that I am on the way, and the journey is always more exciting then the destination. A trip trough family affairs, sex, fame, love and spiritualism…

My book will be published in Hungary by a major publisher, Jaffa, on the 6th of November. If you speak Hungarian or you happen to be the head of a world famous publishing house and your only desire is to make me fuckin’ freakin’ rich and famous, than go ahead and order your copy: elorendeles@jaffa.hu. And speaking about serious stuff: the 10% of my royalty will be a donation for the Kids Creating Peace organization. The program is helping Arab, Jewish and Christian children to socialize trough creative games and drama, so they will experience the joy of living together in a world, which doesn’t belong to anyone and yet it’s everyone’s. One world… every child.

A few drinks at the Liszt Ferenc Tér’s Menza, and u’re in heaven

They say communication can best be learnt through art. To understand, to be open to the others, to be more tolerant, to ponder and to respond. The Budapest Autumn Festival to be held this year for the eighteenth time, and the major aim is to make people realize the concept of “Budapest, festival city” and to show how important is Budapest as a European cultural centre. Plays, shows, music and dance events, ehibitions and many more – for those who came to see and not just to shop, fuck and go. October’s most important movie premiere is the Julie and Julia, starring the world’s best actress, Meryl Streep. Julia Child and Julie Powell are separated by time and space, both women are at loose ends… until they discover that with the right combination of passion, fearlessness and cooking, anything is possible. If you prefer theatre over cinema, walk to the Nagymező utca – the Broadway of Pest – and pick one from the wide selection of musicals, comedies and dance shows. The Operett is the gayest theatre in town, with it’s kitchy charm.

If you are bored of culture and u just wanna get into Cindy Lauper’s mood „Girls just wanna have fun”, just take a cab and be a party monster in the Alterego, the most fun gay club of the city, with the most amazing trannie shows… don’t be surprised if you’ll be exposed by one of the ladies on the stage, they are really into forigners. Check out the recently opened Glam, the always packed, classic one, the Capella. Isnsider’s gay coffee places are the Club 93 the Amstel River Coffee and Eklektika – all with friendly staff, and yummie bites, including that hot guy by the table next to you.

Are you guys into sports? Legendary Budapest Marathon Organisation’s next event will be the 24th Budapest International Marathon in October 2009. The expected participants’s number is over 15000, sure there will be some cute boys wearing tights. The course of the race takes place in the most beautiful parts of our capital, we can run across the Heroes’ Square, through the „5’th Avenue-like” Andrássy Street (don’t stop to shop!), past the Buda Castle and the gorgeous Parliament. While running, we can admire the breath-taking view of the city from the Chain Bridge, and check out the infamous statues of the guarding lions, who doesn’t have tongues. Rumor has it that the artist killed himself over this tiny mistake.In October Papp László Budapest Sportaréna hosts Boris Becker, Pat Cash, Yannick Noah, Thomas Muster, and many other hot heroes of tennis. In the last year this tournament was an amazing success in Budapest: Balázs Taróczy will present it again – he was champion in Wimbledon, with Heinz Guenthard!

In case of you are more intrested in other kind of „sports”, also starts with „s”, you should find the local saunas, Magnum and 69. Some says that spas are more winter fun, but I think it’s never too hot for picking someone hot. Budapest’s famous baths, Gellért, Szécheny and Lukács are more sophisticated so if you want to act like “Oh, I totally came for the health spa experience, who cares about guys!”, go for it! But ofcourse, if you wanna get sexed, you have to get dressed first, so let me “dress you up with my love”!

The showrooms of the Je Suis Belle, Nanushka and USE – unused are not listed in the travel book’s boring and shallow shopping catalogues but trust me – it worth to find them and make an appointment. Look up Hungary’s unique, amazing young fashionista designers on the Internet. For the lazy ones: the Károlyi garden’s vintage and designer shop, Retrock De Lux has all the essentials by the fashion-ganxtas of the Hungarian couture. I could give you some shopaholic advice about the high class fashion on the Fashion Street and the Belváros area over Zara and Pull’n’Bear, but I decided to concentrate on vintage and underground style. All the best shops are in the Astoria metro stop: the Poster Urban Outfit is the only hungarian shop with the genious jeans of the Cheap Monday company, and the Retrock, which brings you the best vintage-rock T-shirts, Luke Worrell-kinda hats, and oversized sunglasses. This is the area where you can meet all the real trendy youngsters of our city: hotties wearing skinny jeans and trashy-looking but very expensive hearcuts. If you are into fashion, grab a copy from the magazine „The Room”. It’s Hungary’s absoultley fabulous trend magazine, coming out in every new season.

Whatever I missed, can be found in our free gay guide magazine, Na Végre!, get it in the nearest queer club. If you want more (I don’t mean that, silly), just click on the „Get Me In” patch on the headline of the site. Have a pleasant stay… oh, what am I talking about this is no tea party at the Buckingham Palace. Don’t miss any opportunity to have fun and be shameless about enjoying yourself, the Hungaran derring-do and anything, or anyone you wish for.

Xoxo, Kristóf Steiner, your Local Gay Spy